My Girl
by pathera
Summary: The war is over and Ron has decided to take the plunge and finally ask Hermione out. Instead he gets a nasty surprise. AU, one-shot, HG/FW.


A/N: This is my first Hermione/Fred fic! Yay! Sorry if Ron comes across as a bit...thick? Clueless? Two-dimensional? Flat? OOC? Whatever; he's not one of my favorite characters and I wasn't really in a rush to be nice to him.

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter things would have turned out a little bit differently and Hermione would have been with Fred instead of Ron.

My Girl

"Hey Harry! Have you seen Hermione?"

Harry looked up from what he was doing and frowned. "I think she said she was going to her room. Why?"

Ron grinned broadly, clapping his friend on the shoulder. "I'm going to ask her out!"

Harry raised an eyebrow. "What?" He said, his voice skeptical. Ron didn't seem to notice, because he went on grinning just as brightly as before.

"I've been thinking a lot lately, and I realized that I'm in love with Hermione. Always have been. And it kinda seems like we were meant to be, doesn't it?"

Harry folded his arms. "I always thought you'd make a good couple, yes, but…how do you know she hasn't moved on?"

Ron waved his hand dismissively. "C'mon mate! This is Hermione we're talking about!" He trotted up the stairs, blowing past Ginny.

"Where's he going in such a hurry?" She asked. Harry looked back down at the paper in front of him.

"To ask Hermione out."

Ginny stopped dead in her tracks and the parchment in her hand fell to the floor. Harry looked up to find her face pale and her eyes staring up the stairs. "Oh my God." She said.

"Yeah, I never thought he'd do it either."

"No. He's going to—shit!" Ginny walked over to the table and sat down, letting her head fall against the hard surface.

"Ginny, what the hell is going on?"

The red-head didn't lift her head up. "This is going to be _so _bad. I told them they should have told everyone as soon as the war ended, but did they listen to me? _No_."

"Ginny, who the hell is them?"

She looked up at him. "Harry, you wouldn't even believe me if I told you. But you'll find out soon enough."

Ron took the stairs two at a time on the way up, humming tunelessly. He ran to Hermione's door and paused to fix his hair and straighten his clothes. Then he grabbed the doorknob. He contemplated knocking, for a brief moment, but then decided that she would forgive him for intruding in her room once he asked her out.

For a moment he thought he heard an unusual sound coming from inside the room, but brushed it off as his imagination or one of Fred and George's pranks or even just a normal house sound. He turned the doorknob and pushed the door open, stepping across the threshold.

The sight he saw there would be forever burned into his memory.

Hermione lay on her bed, her back arched, her hair spread out like a warm brown fan on her bedspread. Her blouse was unbuttoned, her lips parted, her eyes closed. A finger snaked its way down her front, caressing as a man kissed along the path. His shirt was off and her hands ran over his well-toned muscles, pulling him close. One tangled itself in bright red hair.

When the door swung open they both froze, their eyes going from the doorway, where Ron looked like he was about to have a seizure, to each other. Ron's mouth hung open and his eyes were wide.

"You didn't lock the door?" Hermione said to the man who was now rummaging around for his shirt. She quickly buttoned her own shirt, finger-combing her hair.

"I thought I did…."

"Wh-wh-what the hell?" Ron roared. The couple jumped. "How could you do this to me?" There was the sound of stampeding footsteps as Ginny, Harry, and George arrived at the bedroom, breathless. Harry's eyes widened when he looked into the room; Ginny and George merely exchanged glances and rolled their eyes.

Hermione sighed. "Do what to you, Ron?"

Ron ignored her, striding over and turning his wand on the man who sat on her bed. "How could you do this to me, Fred?"

Fred held up his hands defensively. "Mind telling me what specifically I did?" He asked. From the way his eyes flickered to George he was buying for time, and it was apparently working. The tips of Ron's ears turned so red that Fred momentarily thought they were going to catch fire.

"You stole my girl! You knew I liked Hermione! I came up here to ask her to be my girlfriend! How long have you been doing this behind my back, you smarmy bastard? Hermione and I are supposed to be together! We were supposed to get married and have kids! She's mine!"

Fred winced and looked at Hermione, whose face was dark and ominous. She stood, drawing herself to her full height, looked Ron straight in the eye and slapped him as hard as she could.

"I'm 'yours' am I? I'm a human, Ronald. I don't belong to anyone, least of all you! You ignored me for seven years! You didn't even know I was a girl until you got desperate! I waited six years for you to wake up and see that I loved you, and you never did!"

She balled her hand into a fist.

"But, but…."

She pulled her wand from her pocket and pointed it at him, shouting an unfamiliar word. He doubled over in pain, his eyes welling with tears. She stalked past him, towards the doorway. "Trying producing offspring with _that_, _Ronald_!"

Fred looked from his brother to his girlfriend and then shook his head. "And _that_, ladies and gentlemen, is why I do not argue with Hermione Granger."

"Fred, come!" With a grin he hurried from the room.

"Dude, you are whipped!" George said, his grin merciless. Fred rolled his eyes and leaned closer to his brother.

"But I've got the girl, brother dear." He said. "And she can whip me any time she wants to."

"And I will if you don't come on!" Hermione said, turning with her hands propped on her hips. Fred took her arm and grinned, letting her lead him down the hallway.

George shuddered and stared at his brother's retreating back. "That is one image I _never_ wanted in my head."

Harry turned to Ginny. "Oh. My. God."

She smirked smugly at him. "Told you that you wouldn't believe me!" She sang, then took his arm and led him away, leaving Ron in a crumpled heap on the bedroom floor.

He looked up, groaning. "H-help…." He whispered. George looked at him for a long moment and then shook his head.

"Sorry Ron. No can do. I, for one, know better than to incur the wrath of Hermione Granger." And with that he strolled away. Ron groaned and closed his eyes. Someone would come along eventually. Wouldn't they?

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